Anyone keeping track has noticed I haven't posted in quite awhile. Depression and pain had taken over and still linger. I hurt my back doing god knows what and one of my medications is giving restless let syndrome 24/7. I've been going to physical therapy which has helped my back and I'm taking some medication for my legs. Neither have helped 100% so I tend to spend some time in bed during the day. I've taken up watching TV in the mean time which is by no means entertaining. We don't have cable, just an antenna.
With all this idle time I've come to loathe my life. I rarely leave the house and when I do it's just for a short time. My future looks like more of the same. Commercials on TV about college and jobs are tempting but then I have to step back and remind myself that I can barely get off the damn couch for more than a few hours at a time. Still, I can't go on living this way with no plans for the future. I applied at a nearby community college for fall semester. The question will be is if I can get any financial aid after doing a medical withdraw so many times. Without financial aid it would take me a few months to save up what I need for a class. It does bring me down, however, how much financial aid I owe already. It's about $25,000. Still, to get where I want to go I need more schooling and if I fail,....well I fail. I've done it enough times already so I should be able to handle it. I'm 27 years old with no future, no friends, and no life and no one can change any of that but me.
I'd like to be a pharmacist. It would mean I'm a specialist in something...anything. I've been encouraged in the past to look into pharmacology simply because I understood my medications and medications I had taken well. Either way, medication fascinates me in how it actually works (which no one ever tells you). From what I understand I need a BA in biochemistry with more schooling to follow and this community college offers a pre-pharmacist program.
It's been almost ten years since I've been in school and I know that things have changed. I'm scared because I'll likely be the oldest student there, though no one will prolly tell because of my young appearance. I'll be going in practically a freshmen even though I have prior credits. Because it's been so long I'm not sure that they will even use my credits. I have lots of phone calls to make between my crappy TV shows and soft bed. Wish me luck.
