Here I am, on my couch, just reflecting.
***Side Note***I don't care if it offends Christians not to say "Merry Christmas". Perhaps they should consider who they are leaving out before screaming they are being persecuted for their beliefs.
Anyway, a lot has happened since my last post. I start school at Coe College on January 12th. Orientation is the 9th. I am going to be taking a double major in account and business. The classes with both majors are so similar it's silly not to do them both. I know what you're thinking, what happened to pre-pharmacy? Well I'm running out of financial aid because of all the years I tried and could not succeed at school. In other words I've taken out as many loans as possible for an undergraduate degree. They are going to give me enough for five, maybe six, semesters if I help pay tuition with my PASS money. That is, of course, what it's for. That and other school expenses.
So here I am, in the big city of Cedar Rapids, getting ready for school to start. Today I spent Christmas with my grandparents and family. Then I went to my cousin's condo to bring her my grandpa's potato soup. She had been sick and is finally feeling better so I stayed and chatted. Wow did I need that. I can be honest with her. I can be myself.
I'm nearing 200 lbs and for a tiny 5'1" young (can I still say young?) woman that's way too much. I've been eating what I please with very little exercise. My back troubles me when I overwork it so I've been avoiding most things you would consider exercise. I have switched back to diet soda to lessen the calories I consume in a day. Next time I go grocery shopping I plan to get decent food. Which brings me to exercise. Well, my tv decided to go out and even though the manufacturer sent someone to fix it it was unfixable. Is that a word? The dictionary says no. That's ok, I'm using it anyway. So I want to do yoga (yoga that is safe for my back) again but I can't see the poses well enough on the computer screen (or maybe I'm using that as an excuse?) and I usually hook it up to the tv. The manufacturer is sending me a new tv as soon as I send the old one back when I get the box tomorrow. I'll start yoga when the new tv arrives.
My back has just started being sore all the time again because I fell down the stairs at my apartment. There was ice because our gutters leak. Water sits in them and drips for up to three days after it rains. There was no ice anywhere but our stairs. I called the property manager and the maintenance people but they have done nothing. My shoulder, hip, arm, and foot have been sore as well. All but my shoulder have beautiful bruises. I've been seeing the chiropractor and staying on top of taking my muscle relaxers. If things aren't better in a month I'll be getting another epidural.
My mental health has been in good condition thanks to my medication and family and no thanks to my new psychiatrist. He did nothing when I told him I hadn't been sleeping. I haven't seen him in awhile and not scheduled to see him in the future. I'm supposed to call in January to schedule. Luckily my family doctor changed my muscle relaxer and has me taking two at bedtime. Since then I've been sleeping well. I got a new family doctor because the one I was seeing tried to have me take NSAIDs with my lithium. Good thing I know better or I would have been one sick woman. Are you keeping up with all my changes? Who am I kidding, I can barely keep track!
So that's my life in a nutshell right now. Not too exciting but it is a life. There is life with mental illness. I wouldn't trade a day of my boring life for the way things used to be. Sure, I have my ups and downs, everyone does, but nothing like before I got my medication leveled out. I'd rather be me at 200 lbs than who I was at 160. Or 120. I can do this, even if I have to remind myself (or have someone remind me) every now and again.
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