So school has started and it's going well. Well, that is as well as you can expect having just completed the first week. I like my classes; Prin of Accounting I, Macroeconomics, Chorale, and Elementary Spanish II. In Spanish our teacher is out having a baby so we have a substitute professor. It's hard for me because he's not grading anything in the class while he's there so I don't really know what I don't know, ya know? I guess I should back up a bit. As I said I am taking Elementary Spanish II but it's been years since I took Elementary Spanish I. Lots of years. At least seven. Anyway I feel a little iffy about it but I just expect I'll have to study harder than usual. Accounting I'm enjoying. It's a challenge but it's a subject I enjoy. Chorale has taken me a little aback because I have sang since high school, unless in my car counts. Macro is starting off slowly so I'm not sure where it's headed. And those are my views on my classes.
I'm still finding where I fit in at Coe College. I am (so far) the only person there with a rolling backpack. My back just cannot handle my books. I feel ancient around all these teenagers. I wish I could find some friends to blend in with but I don't see many opportunities to strike up a conversation. Maybe they're there but I'm just missing them. Then in the back of my mind are the questions about my mental illness. What if people find out I have schizoaffective disorder? Then I think what's the worst that could happen? They could not talk to you? They are already not talking to you. Ah, the conversations I have with myself.
I am worried my illness will become a problem with school. If I start having problems again and I have to go into the hospital or have my meds changed I could miss a ton of class which is where I struggled last time. I had a small increase of my antipsychotic because I was hallucinating but it doesn't seem to be affecting me except in good ways. It is causing me to have restless legs (as it was before) which means I'm always swinging my legs in class. I'm self conscious about it.
I mentioned my back problems to I will expand on it. I was having a lot of low back pain for a long time and eventually they did an epidural which helped amazingly. Then I fell on some ice down the stairs at my apartment. Six weeks later not only having low back pain, but pain in my shoulder as well. I can't get another epidural until next month and I am seeing my doctor for a physical on Tuesday so I plan to bring up my shoulder pain. It's really getting in the way of housework and sitting fo periods of time, like class.
Just thought I would pour my thoughts out today. Have a great day.
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