Links, Worry, and Hope

I want to start with giving you the link to my new Google+ page for this blog.  It's pretty bare right now but I will be updating it every time I have a blog post as well as posting things I find relevant to the audience of this blog, mostly mental health related stuff.  What I put on the Facebook page will be the same as the Google+ page, but this will be easier for those of you who prefer Google+.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/108763547821771847034/108763547821771847034/

I also want to draw your attention to the other links at the right side of your page.  They are the pages I use regularly that I think people will find helpful.  There are forums for people with mental illness, the links to my and the blog's Facebook pages, medication related websites, other blogs I enjoy, etc.  If you let me know about your blog I will read it and possibly add it to the Recommended Links area of my page.  I'm considering a revamp of this area to separate the links into categories but for now it is pretty easily accessible on the right side of the page.

Now to true blog business.  I've been taking the Saphris for under a week with minimal side effects.  My constant dry mouth is gone, my legs have stopped swelling, and the congestion is gone.  The only side effects I've noticed are diminished appetite (yay!), restlessness after my morning dose, and that once I eat after my morning dose I crash for two or three hours.  I called my doctor's office about the restlessness and they told me to take Benedryl, which kind of guarantees the whole crash thing.  I basically have to plan my schedule to afternoons only because once I get up I go right back to sleep until at least noon.  I have tried caffeine to no avail.  I'm pretty ok with with the side effects after all of the other ones I've had to deal with.  Not to mention that my psychotic symptoms are in check.

I am suffering from some depression which I'm not sure is my illness or situational.  I get upset about how limited my life is and how limited of relationships I have.  Other than my dad all my relationships are over Facebook or text messages.  I daydream about going back to work or school, or basically anything that takes commitment.  I worry that this is going to be my whole life and none of my goals will ever be accomplished.  I worry I'll never own a house or make enough money to do anything.  I worry that I'll never pay off my debts.  I worry that this pain will never go away, although it has been better in the past few days.  I also worry that I'm going to never lose the weight that I've gained because of the psychiatric medications.  I don't feel comfortable making new relationships with my body the way it is.  I want to feel better AND look better.

I hope that taking the Saphris will help me with all of these things.  If it helps me to feel well enough I can start to do things again.  But I also know that no medication has worked for me long term.  All I can do is hope.