*DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, therapist, or health professional of any kind. I’m sharing things that I have been taught that have helped me (or not). This is my experience.

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Thursday, September 13, 2012

Struggling

After two weeks on the Fanapt, and my legs swelling, my gaining ten pounds, and congestion that ended in a sinus infection, I saw my psychiatrist and he switched me to Saphris.  I've taken it before and hated it because it makes your mouth feel numb and it tastes bad (you put it under your tongue).  But I've tried basically everything and Saphris is very similar to clozaril but with fewer side effects and no blood draw once a week, and we've been talking about trying clozaril for the last couple months.

I've been struggling with depression and irrational thoughts.  A death wish has been creeping up on me.  I feel scared whenever it's dark for no specific reason.  The reviews I've read of Saphris say that most people were helped in these areas by taking it.  We are not tapering on this one, just taking the normal dose.  My psychiatrist said that because it is absorbed under your tongue it works pretty fast.  I'm hoping it will also help with the pain, though I have no reason to believe it will.

When I saw my pain doctor last she said that my vitamin D level was low, but all of my other tests were normal.  I'm taking a supplement to help make up the difference.  There are studies that show that people with low vitamin D levels have chronic pain but they don't know what is causing it in most cases, as with mine.  I've been taking a multivitamin but I guess that's not enough for me.  I go back to see her next week.

I had the long awaited EMG test which showed no neuropathy or pinched nerve.  It's frustrating because now no one seems to know what to do.  I have a feeling the pain specialist will feel the same way.  The doctor who did the test said it could be fibromyalgia.  Something needs done because my back is getting worse and worse.  I am so fed up with nothing being done that I scheduled an appointment with a neurologist in Iowa City.  It's a long drive but I am already a patient there so it was the only place I could get into within a month.  I see someone there October 4th.

I felt so sick that I left therapy early this week.  My therapist is very understanding.  She doesn't think I'm making up all these problems and tries to give me suggestions to help me get something done.  Even though she's through Lutheran Family Services she never brings up religion because she knows I'm an atheist.  It's nice.

I've been pretty irritable lately and I feel bad about it.  I just haven't been feeling well so my patience has been pretty much non-existent.  People have been pretty understanding, which is nice.  I know I would have hated to put up with me.

It's nice and chilly out today.  It's the kind of whether I love, cool enough to need a jacket but no so cold you need gloves.  Maybe the perfect weather will help cheer me up.  Nothing else seems to be.

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